I don't know....

This is.... I don't actually have the words. Right. So this morning, I woke up, made sure Jack was awake and willing to leave his house for dance, went home, got changed, went into college to help with the boys dance and assist Andy with his monologues, then went home again, had a shower, freshened up, got changed into a nice set of clothes, caught another bus into town, all of this costing me my precious little money, bought a nice bottle of wine for Emma, went to Maxwell's 10 minutes early, got a table for two and ordered some water and bread. Waited for 15 minutes, got a little nervous, called Emma.

'Hey.

Hi, where are you?

I'm at home.

You... weren't supposed to be doing anything today?

....... Oh shit.'

That summarizes Emma's opinion on me at the moment. 'Oh Shit'. All I am is an expletive, never to be mentioned in public or in front of people she wants to impress.
I don't know if I can care anymore. Christ... She treats me like shit.

Oh shit............ what have I done?!?!?!?!?! She started talking to me on facebook chat and I ranted and then called her and shouted and was mean and told her I LOVED HER AGAIN........ what the fuck?!?!! I was doing so well and now I'm involved again!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so drained, everything's rushing back, I can't get involved in this, it's not worth it. Why the fuck did I do that... I'm such a fucking idiot!! Christ... Now she hates me again, I've made the situation worse, I've gotta lay low for awhile. Leave it alone, not talk or think about it, jesus christ I'm an imbecile... Should've listened to everyone else but noooooo.... Rory does what Rory wants, now who's the fucking hypocrite... Arghhhhhh..... Plan. Need a plan. Lay low, don't talk. Leave it. Done. Christ.............